Procrastination-Don’t wait forever! Act now.

                          “Let’s do this the next week, or after Diwali”; said Rohan as Seema had that familiar sinking feeling. She had wanted to go for a short weekend trip to Matheran since ages. As usual, Rohan had been dilly-dallying and postponing it ad nauseum. Today was just Seema’s last-ditch attempt to see if she could get him around to actually giving the go-ahead to her proposal. Now, after her 25^th attempt, she wondered whether the old saying really worked! “Where there is a will, there is a way!” Maybe it did, on second thoughts. Only for her hubby who had made up his mind to have his way. In a huff, she decided immediately that she would go with her sister and her family for the trip, even if it meant going without her hubby.

                           When they returned from the trip and Seema showed off all the magnificent photos of the breath-taking scenery to Rohan, he genuinely rued the fact that he had missed out on such a wonderful experience. He apologized to her and said that in future, he’d be more prompt in considering her proposals. Seema grinned and said, “I’ll take that with a large pinch of salt”. She knew that her hubby was a habitual procrastinator.

                            This case-study throws light on an interesting phenomenon. Procrastination. The ultimate experience in waiting indefinitely, for something or some experience which can be easily enjoyed in the present than in the hitherto unknown future! Yes folks, procrastinators, the experts in this art are very optimistic individuals who really believe that the future is not too far off and the present is too important to be squandered. They can never make up their minds and are constantly putting off things for the morrow. These ‘things’ may be buying new furniture, shifting into a new house, marriage, changing jobs, divorce, having a baby, going in for an important surgery or just completing the job in hand!

                           Maybe they think that they are better off in the current scenario even if it is painful, shameful, agonizing, irritating, disgusting and unbearable. They just lack the drive to fast-forward things or move on to better circumstances, even at the cost of their physical, mental and emotional health.

                         Most of them consider themselves to be individuals who carefully weigh the pros and cons before committing themselves to change. They sincerely believe in the dictum that “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread!” Obviously, their slow approach irks those who are waiting for them to make things happen or take important decisions. These dependents know that the procrastinator is just being difficult and obtuse. He is not oblivious to their suffering, but isn’t too much in a hurry to alleviate their misery too!

                          Anyone who has dealt with a clerk in a Government office knows how wretched it is to make the rounds of that office daily, for a job that can be done in less than an hour. The clerk is an ideal procrastinator who refuses to take any extra effort to mitigate your ordeal for you. Even if you have to commute 25 kms. daily to go and meet him for that darned work to be done, he doesn’t bat an eyelid while saying for the nth time, “Come tomorrow!” Of course, you know that ‘tomorrow’ will never come!

                       Ask Ramesh. He had asked an explanation about his over-charged electricity bill to a clerk in the Electricity Board’s office and was made to run from pillar to post for six months, after which he realized that though he hadn’t still received a satisfactory response, his wallet was lighter due to the money spent on traveling to that office for so long! His B.P. was also surging and he had to visit a physician and pay his bill too! He wondered whether he should have procrastinated in his decision to follow-up his inflated bills. Probably that could’ve saved him lots of hard-earned money!

                        Saguna was a bright young girl who had just given her S.S.C Board Exams. She hadn’t decided which stream to opt for even when her results were announced and she had got a whopping 80%. To the utter frustration of her parents, who wanted her to be a doctor, she insisted on taking her own sweet time to decide whether she wanted to become a doctor, an engineer, architect or an artist. She was good at drawing and good in academics too. Hence she was confused about the field to be chosen as a career.

                       She didn’t think it wise to approach a counselor and relied solely on her closest friends’ advice who were as vague as her. The result was that she wasted two precious months of the new academic year of Junior College. Her parents had to literally bully her into opting for Science after persuading her to think about other options later on! She had not had the foresight to keep her plans ready so that she could immediately implement them after her Board Exams. What a pity! Surely career choices require methodical evaluation and deliberation, much in advance. Only then is the mind equipped to deal with the studies required for that particular option.

                      Procrastinators believe that “Aaj kare so kal kar, kal kare so parson, itni bhi jaldi kya hai yaaron, hamein jeena hai barson!” (Do the job tomorrow instead of today, do tomorrow’s job the day after, what’s the hurry buddy? I am going to live for many more years!”)

                      Would someone please tell them to follow the right dictum, “Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab, thodi hi der me pralay hoga to fir karoge kab?” (Do tomorrow’s job today, today’s job, right now; within a few moments, there’ll be a storm, then when will you do the job?”)

                       The bureaucrats and other personnel who dealt very efficiently with the recent Phailin cyclone in Odisha and successfully evacuated more than 5 lakh people to safer areas are good examples of how urgency in dealing with foreseen calamities can be a boon for many. Had they procrastinated and adopted the usual “wait and watch policy” there would have been many casualties.

                      Such go-getters are highly motivated individuals who don’t unnecessarily postpone important decisions and thus save everyone’s time, cost and efforts too. In the above case, they commendably saved lakhs of precious lives. Now you decide whether you want to be in a win-win situation or a never-ending conundrum; ASAP. If you procrastinate on this decision, only God Almighty can save you! Amen!

The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.

Happy Republic Day!

Dear friends,
                       I wish all Indians and NRIs a Very Happy Republic Day! I am proud to be an Indian. I wish that my country stands tall among all the other nations, always! I wish that all inequalities in our society are eliminated and everyone lives peacefully here.
                                                                    Jai Hind!

                                                                                                                            Priya

Happy Sankranti!

Dear friends,
                  The harvest festival is here, with lots of hope, enthusiasm and good cheer. Wish you all a 
Very Happy Sankranti/Pongal/Lohari/Bihu. May your lives be filled with abundant joy, peace, good health and prosperity! Enjoy!
                  "Tilgul ghya, goad goad bola" (Marathi greeting during this festival)
                  Translates as "Have sweets made from sesame seeds and converse sweetly! (Forget all animosity and differences)"
                                                                                                                                       Priya

Always sitting on the fence?

              A heated argument was going on at a person’s house. All his friends had gathered there for their usual get-together. As they caught up with what each of them was doing, they felt happy and relaxed. It was very pleasant till one friend casually remarked about a person unknown to the group, “He always speaks glibly. He is also a sycophant.” This unwarranted statement and comment started a debate among them. Each of them argued for and against that unknown person’s behavior.

             Only one friend refrained from taking sides and diplomatically said, “Well, each to his own! Why should we bother?” Then added for good measure, the oft-repeated  suggestion that “The clever ones win an argument, but the wise ones refrain from getting into an argument” effectively implying that he was the wise one there!

              At the face of it, it seemed to be a very pragmatic statement. But given the fact, that that friend was always diplomatic and supposedly non-judgmental, it was evident that he was used to avoiding taking a firm stand on any significant issue. Hence the group could never ever get his honest opinions on any topic. This led it to believe that he was sitting on the fence safely all the while.

             Those who ‘sit on the fence’ are those who play it safe and avoid getting into controversies. They are more worried about saving their skins than making their opinions public. Maybe they lack self-confidence, or feel insecure about airing their views and risk being laughed at, or are just plain defensive!

             Prema plays hers cards very well by just being a silent spectator all the while. Even in the midst of a public gathering, she will sit as quiet as a cat, just listening to the conversation but not joining in, or better still, pretend that she is engrossed in her house-work or watch the idiot-box, so that she’s saved from voicing her frank opinion. The others feel that though she feels strongly about certain issues, she lacks the courage to be bold and make her views be known to everyone.

             In an office meeting, there will always be that one person who’s ready to go with whatever is suggested by the majority! “Majority wins,” he’ll proclaim grandly, while the others snigger at him and whisper that “He hasn’t contributed anything worthwhile to the agenda of this meeting. Such persons shouldn’t be invited to the meeting at all!”

            Hence fence-sitters don’t like to rock the boat and create turbulence in their ordered lives. They are content to sit and watch the fun or the events unfold, as if they are mere spectators. They are never really involved in any cause or committed to any issue and couldn’t be bothered as long as their lives aren’t disturbed.

              Even events of national and international importance fail to rouse them from their complacency. They’ll casually remark, “What are our politicians for? They’ll do the needful. We’ve enough on our plates and don’t want to add to it!” Extreme caution makes them adept at hedging. Such are the people who steer clear of expressing their honest opinions in newspapers, on Facebook and Twitter and other social media, for fear of a backlash. They’ll never take a clear and vocal stand on any relevant issue.

            Then there are others like Naresh who will play ping-pong and keep switching sides till everyone is confused about whose side he is really on! “That’s right” he’ll nod his head at one and then say, “Yes, that’s also true!” to another. “Well, what’s your opinion sir?” they’ll peevishly confront him, to which he’ll cheekily remark, “No comments!” Thus persons like him can never play the judge in an argument. He’ll let the argument snow-ball into a free-for-all and avail of free entertainment.

           This “sab chalta hai attitude” is the bane of our countrymen too. They are content to watch from the sidelines, occasionally prodding the players of the game, but totally indifferent to the outcome of the game! “Who cares!” is their common refrain.

            Unlike those who make social issues their personal business, these fence-sitters are just not bothered and are content to let sleeping dogs lie! They’ll firmly state that “It’s none of our business!” Let the concerned people do their work and be accountable for it. They’ll even be philosophical and state, “If someone is in the wrong, he’ll get his just desserts one day.” Thus they are not committed towards any cause and evade responsibility. They have a laid-back attitude and won’t be achievers in any field in life.

            Virendra always chose the “None of the above” option while voting and threw away his valuable vote. He failed to realize that if everyone chose that option, no candidate would ever win any election. No candidate could get a chance to prove his worth! A better option for him would’ve been to chose the lesser Devil and hope for the best. In a democracy, we shouldn’t be afraid of airing our views, but as some past unsavory incidents have proved that it’s better to keep mum, we’ll soon become an exclusive nation of convenient and safe fence-sitters.

            To sum up, it can be said, “Kindly upset that apple-cart once in a while, at least to prove that you are alive and kicking!” It’s time to take a stand. So stand up and be counted.

The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.

Happy New Year!

Dear friends,
                   As usual, a new year has begun, bringing with it a  fresh wave of enthusiasm and vigor. Let's keep the tempo and breeze through this year too, with as much aplomb! Yesteryear has become history and we look forward to the future, with anticipation and cheerfulness. Let's cherish each moment and savor life's experience, and gain invaluable insights! Let's spare a thought for the underprivileged and help them. Let's strive to make our lives more meaningful and purposeful. Let's thank God for His infinite blessings!
                  I wish all of you and your families and friends, A Very Happy, Healthy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year for 2016 and all the years to come!
                                                                                                                              Priya

Merry Christmas!

It is Christmas time, jolly times
the season of holly and tinsel,
carefree laughter and merry times
for family and friends to gel!
So let's keep a Santa in our hearts
and the divine star in our soul
to lead us from darkness into light
and keep sight of our goal!
Count our blessings
and spare a thought for the poor
and leave our good cheer
even when we are nowhere near!
Let's light candles of happiness
and celebrate life's loveliness!
'Cause Christmas celebrates kindness
and all of mankind's goodness!

The copyright of this poem is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.

Resting on others’ laurels?

  

        Suresh was a laid back youngster in his mid-twenties. He had completed his graduation, but hadn’t

been successful in landing a good job. Whenever anyone asked him about it, he would airily remark, “I

don’t have one but my elder sister is working in a bank.” It would appear weird to that person, as

Suresh was evading the real question and answering about his sister’s job status. When that person

wondered about it, he got the answer that Suresh was trying to rest on his sister’s laurels! As if her

having a bank job substituted for him being jobless!

         A senior citizen had never held any worthwhile job in his lifetime. As a result, he had no retirement

benefits to fall back on in his old age and had to be totally dependent on his only son for his sustenance.

His eldest brother held a very senior, Managerial position in a Public Sector undertaking. He lived in

another city.

           The senior citizen would use every opportunity to talk about his brother and praise him to   

the skies. “He’s very, very clever and accomplished. Imagine being the top Boss! He draws a salary of Rs.

50,000/-. He’s held various responsible positions in his organization.” As he would sing praises ad

nauseum, his audience would wonder why it was being given all this information, in which it was  

least interested.

          Obviously, he was trying to deflect attention from himself to his brother. He felt that he was

worthless and his brother was priceless! He didn’t have any redeeming quality and his brother was a

paragon of success!

          Such instances are common when a person has low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. He

may not be an achiever, may not be very clever, may not have wealth and estate; and may not have an

exalted position in society. Hence to draw attention away from his ‘perceived’ defects, flaws and

shortcomings, he starts talking about some accomplished and noteworthy individual, hoping that that

person’s aura rubs off on him too! He basks in the reflected glory and laurels of that individual and starts

feeling good about himself. This process continues each time that his ‘worth’ is called into question.

           Though it’s obvious to the other person that he’s indulging in passive sycophancy, this person

nurtures no such misgivings. He’s content to remain under that accomplished individual’s safe shadow.

He draws succor from the fact of having known or being closely associated with that accomplished

individual. His life is made! One such person always got himself photographed with celebrities and

displayed those framed photographs prominently at his home and office. He used to preen when

anyone commented on them and felt important!

          Then there are those who are compulsive name-droppers. “Lata (Mangeshkar) used to stay in the

same street as me, in my childhood days!” “Kishore (Kumar) was my class-mate.” “ Sachin (Tendulkar) is

the same, ever since he was a kid!”

            The name-dropper latches on to the celebrity in question and attempts to show his/her proximity

and longstanding association with that celebrity, so that he/she also becomes famous and talked-about,

in society circles! He/she tries to depict an intimacy between the celebrity and himself/herself, by

referring to that celebrity by his or her first name or even nick-names. Thus name-dropping is

considered to be a status symbol with ‘brag-value’!

             It is thought that the more celebrity names one drops, seemingly casually, during the course of a

conversation in a high-profile party or occasion, the more does that person who’s dropping names,

become popular and much-sought-after!

            Autograph-hunters will flock to him/her and request him/her to get that celebrity’s autograph or

even an audience with that celebrity. This assumed importance works wonders for the shameless name-

dropper’s ego. Such persons are publicity-crazy and want to share the spotlight with those celebrities for

free and without their knowledge or consent. They are just trying to rest on another person’s

laurels and piggy-back their way to success or fame.

           Such name-dropping could get for them, contracts of work or make them popular in society.

Those who tout influential and powerful connections with those in power, such as politicians, world

leaders, businessmen and others; often worm their way into great deals. This could be due to deference

towards those ‘powerful contacts in high places’ that could harm someone who dares cross swords with

them; or to curry favor with them! But sadly, such people aren’t respected or loved. They are in fact,

looked down upon and sniggered at! They are not accepted whole-heartedly, but merely tolerated with

barely concealed impatience and contempt.

              It is quite common to brandish an influential and rich Dad’s/relative’s name to escape the long

arm of law, whenever one has flouted it. “Don’t you know who I am? I am so and so’s son/daughter!”

This one announcement often does the trick, if the constables are gullible! The culprit is let off the hook

and goes about scot-free, again flouting the rules with impunity.

               An old movie comes to mind in this context. In the movie ‘Jugnu’, actor Pran tells his father

angrily and bristling with pride that “Those who use the crutches of a Dad’s name are weak!” Alas, these

rule-flouting youngsters haven’t evidently seen that movie!

              Some lucky youngsters who have star-Dads or Moms have their first movies handed over to

them on a platter. Likewise, offspring of some sports-persons, musicians and singers too have it

comparatively easy as they get their first break easily. These people don’t have to go through the grind

of struggling for their maiden debuts like the other not-so-lucky ones!

             Thus when Akshay Kumar sings, “Na hum Amitabh, na Dilip Kumar, na kisi hero ke bacche, hum hain seedhe saadhe Akshay!”  (I’m neither Amitabh, nor Dilip Kumar, nor any hero’s son, I’m only an

ordinary simpleton named Akshay!), he echoes the sentiments of those who cannot claim a stake to

fame or super-stardom just because of their celebrity parents. Many such privileged youngsters fail to

make the final cut due to lack of merit!

              Parents often link their unfulfilled dreams and aspirations with their children’s achievements.

Those who couldn’t become doctors or engineers want their children to become one and try to achieve

their goals vicariously. They dedicate their lives towards making their children’s careers blossom and

soar. They take great pride in their children’s achievement and even proudly flaunt it by saying that my

son or daughter is a doctor or an engineer.

           Similarly housewives often snootily comment that their husbands are Directors, Managers, etc. It’s

interesting how hierarchy is maintained even among the Officers’ wives.The husband’s position in office or society becomes a status-symbol for the wife and family. A relative of mine was a school drop-out but prided on herself as her husband was a Scientist!

              So it could be safely said that one should try to accomplish something in life, on one’s own merit

and not on the strength of ‘crutches’ of other people’s laurels. Hard work, honesty, confidence, patience

and perseverance will definitely make your life a worthy one of being emulated and looked up to.

           The road to success may be long and thorny, but you would’ve survived its trials and tribulations

to emerge a stronger and better person! You can prove your worth just by being yourself and not

someone’s pale shadow. Carve your own unique and distinct identity! With luck and destiny, who

knows, others could one day, rest on your laurels!

              Meanwhile, remember, it’s always better to be a tiny, twinkling star that glows with its own

light, than the luminescent Moon that basks in the reflected light of the mighty Sun!

The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.