Monday 16 December 2013

Marriage or Mirage?


I just read a news-item that depicted how ostentatious weddings have become in this age. The themes are varied and have the wedding planners on their nimble toes as they scurry around and leave no stone unturned to provide the ultimate wedding experience to their well-heeled clients. I read about couples taking their marriage vows in hot-air balloons suspended high above terra-firma, emerging out of giant lotuses, scuba-diving together and having rose petals showered on them from the skies (if not heavens!) above, marrying in exotic locations, etc.
While this experience will be definitely thrilling for the newly-weds and enthralling for their wide-eyed guests, what remains to be seen is how these couples plan to spend the rest of their lifetime together. Often, after spending a fortune on these lavish ceremonies and either going broke themselves or making their parents bankrupt, do these couples feel sheepish or are they oblivious to the most obvious fact that marriages are beyond all these trappings. Marriages are meant to bring two individuals together in the presence of their closest ones. The vows are meant to be sacrosanct and for keeps.
A colleague of my brother got engaged and married to a guy at a bewitching dream ceremony in a five-star hotel. Needless to say, as per their hallowed status, they had lodged their guests at the same hotel at considerable cost. No expenses were spared to keep everyone in good cheer and high spirits. After the wedding night, the bride had a nasty feeling which refused to leave her. She had blundered by marrying that guy. They weren’t just cut out for each other!
She felt that they wouldn’t be compatible at all and confided in her closest friends that she wanted to go in for a divorce. To say that they were stunned would be an understatement. All of them racked their brains and tried to offer her various solutions to her dilemma. Some pointedly asked her why she had agreed to the match in the first place, if she hadn’t been sure about her feelings for that guy. She shrugged helplessly, agreeing that she had impulsively decided to go ahead with the match.
Her friends sensibly advised her to keep her cool and give the relationship a try for some months at least to see if there were any hopes for her to continue with the marriage. After all, her father had spent all his savings on her wedding and she had a sister to be married off after 5 years. Reluctantly, she agreed. Alas, matters reached a point of no return too soon. Precisely a month later, she decided that enough was enough and she would be better-off alone. The couple divorced by mutual consent. A pity, isn’t it?
The point here is, marriage isn’t just about showing-off and dressing up to the hilt or displaying wealth obscenely. It must be a union of two souls and two families, who promise to be together through thick and thin, supporting and cherishing the others. The beauty of marriage is in the decision of spending the rest of their lives together. Yes, this precious moment of union may be cherished uniquely by a divine ceremony, but one mustn’t miss the woods for the trees. Getting carried away by the lavish rituals is so easy and the presentation mustn’t be only gloss and glitter. The foundation of the marriage must be rock-solid, irrespective of whether a couple is married in a civil ceremony or in an awesome celebration.
Hence, the couple must be fully prepared to be together for life before entering that hot-air balloon, unless it wants its dreams to go bust, after encountering the harsh reality of day-to-day life with all its accompanying trials and tribulations.
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The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.

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