Sunday 20 December 2015

Resting on others’ laurels?



  
        Suresh was a laid back youngster in his mid-twenties. He had completed his graduation, but hadn’t
been successful in landing a good job. Whenever anyone asked him about it, he would airily remark, “I
don’t have one but my elder sister is working in a bank.” It would appear weird to that person, as
Suresh was evading the real question and answering about his sister’s job status. When that person
wondered about it, he got the answer that Suresh was trying to rest on his sister’s laurels! As if her
having a bank job substituted for him being jobless!
         A senior citizen had never held any worthwhile job in his lifetime. As a result, he had no retirement
benefits to fall back on in his old age and had to be totally dependent on his only son for his sustenance.
His eldest brother held a very senior, Managerial position in a Public Sector undertaking. He lived in
another city.
           The senior citizen would use every opportunity to talk about his brother and praise him to   
the skies. “He’s very, very clever and accomplished. Imagine being the top Boss! He draws a salary of Rs.
50,000/-. He’s held various responsible positions in his organization.” As he would sing praises ad
nauseum, his audience would wonder why it was being given all this information, in which it was  
least interested.
          Obviously, he was trying to deflect attention from himself to his brother. He felt that he was
worthless and his brother was priceless! He didn’t have any redeeming quality and his brother was a
paragon of success!
          Such instances are common when a person has low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. He
may not be an achiever, may not be very clever, may not have wealth and estate; and may not have an
exalted position in society. Hence to draw attention away from his ‘perceived’ defects, flaws and
shortcomings, he starts talking about some accomplished and noteworthy individual, hoping that that
person’s aura rubs off on him too! He basks in the reflected glory and laurels of that individual and starts
feeling good about himself. This process continues each time that his ‘worth’ is called into question.
           Though it’s obvious to the other person that he’s indulging in passive sycophancy, this person
nurtures no such misgivings. He’s content to remain under that accomplished individual’s safe shadow.
He draws succor from the fact of having known or being closely associated with that accomplished
individual. His life is made! One such person always got himself photographed with celebrities and
displayed those framed photographs prominently at his home and office. He used to preen when
anyone commented on them and felt important!
          Then there are those who are compulsive name-droppers. “Lata (Mangeshkar) used to stay in the
same street as me, in my childhood days!” “Kishore (Kumar) was my class-mate.” “ Sachin (Tendulkar) is
the same, ever since he was a kid!”
            The name-dropper latches on to the celebrity in question and attempts to show his/her proximity
and longstanding association with that celebrity, so that he/she also becomes famous and talked-about,
in society circles! He/she tries to depict an intimacy between the celebrity and himself/herself, by
referring to that celebrity by his or her first name or even nick-names. Thus name-dropping is
considered to be a status symbol with ‘brag-value’!
             It is thought that the more celebrity names one drops, seemingly casually, during the course of a
conversation in a high-profile party or occasion, the more does that person who’s dropping names,
become popular and much-sought-after!
            Autograph-hunters will flock to him/her and request him/her to get that celebrity’s autograph or
even an audience with that celebrity. This assumed importance works wonders for the shameless name-
dropper’s ego. Such persons are publicity-crazy and want to share the spotlight with those celebrities for
free and without their knowledge or consent. They are just trying to rest on another person’s
laurels and piggy-back their way to success or fame.
           Such name-dropping could get for them, contracts of work or make them popular in society.
Those who tout influential and powerful connections with those in power, such as politicians, world
leaders, businessmen and others; often worm their way into great deals. This could be due to deference
towards those ‘powerful contacts in high places’ that could harm someone who dares cross swords with
them; or to curry favor with them! But sadly, such people aren’t respected or loved. They are in fact,
looked down upon and sniggered at! They are not accepted whole-heartedly, but merely tolerated with
barely concealed impatience and contempt.
              It is quite common to brandish an influential and rich Dad’s/relative’s name to escape the long
arm of law, whenever one has flouted it. “Don’t you know who I am? I am so and so’s son/daughter!”
This one announcement often does the trick, if the constables are gullible! The culprit is let off the hook
and goes about scot-free, again flouting the rules with impunity.
               An old movie comes to mind in this context. In the movie ‘Jugnu’, actor Pran tells his father
angrily and bristling with pride that “Those who use the crutches of a Dad’s name are weak!” Alas, these
rule-flouting youngsters haven’t evidently seen that movie!
              Some lucky youngsters who have star-Dads or Moms have their first movies handed over to
them on a platter. Likewise, offspring of some sports-persons, musicians and singers too have it
comparatively easy as they get their first break easily. These people don’t have to go through the grind
of struggling for their maiden debuts like the other not-so-lucky ones!
             Thus when Akshay Kumar sings, “Na hum Amitabh, na Dilip Kumar, na kisi hero ke bacche, hum hain seedhe saadhe Akshay!”  (I’m neither Amitabh, nor Dilip Kumar, nor any hero’s son, I’m only an
ordinary simpleton named Akshay!), he echoes the sentiments of those who cannot claim a stake to
fame or super-stardom just because of their celebrity parents. Many such privileged youngsters fail to
make the final cut due to lack of merit!
              Parents often link their unfulfilled dreams and aspirations with their children’s achievements.
Those who couldn’t become doctors or engineers want their children to become one and try to achieve
their goals vicariously. They dedicate their lives towards making their children’s careers blossom and
soar. They take great pride in their children’s achievement and even proudly flaunt it by saying that my
son or daughter is a doctor or an engineer.
           Similarly housewives often snootily comment that their husbands are Directors, Managers, etc. It’s
interesting how hierarchy is maintained even among the Officers’ wives.The husband’s position in office or society becomes a status-symbol for the wife and family. A relative of mine was a school drop-out but prided on herself as her husband was a Scientist!
              So it could be safely said that one should try to accomplish something in life, on one’s own merit
and not on the strength of ‘crutches’ of other people’s laurels. Hard work, honesty, confidence, patience
and perseverance will definitely make your life a worthy one of being emulated and looked up to.
           The road to success may be long and thorny, but you would’ve survived its trials and tribulations
to emerge a stronger and better person! You can prove your worth just by being yourself and not
someone’s pale shadow. Carve your own unique and distinct identity! With luck and destiny, who
knows, others could one day, rest on your laurels!
              Meanwhile, remember, it’s always better to be a tiny, twinkling star that glows with its own
light, than the luminescent Moon that basks in the reflected light of the mighty Sun!

The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.

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