Sunday 19 February 2023

Why marry?

                                                       VOUCHING FOR MARRIAGE

                “Marriage is for the staid and living-in is for the fun-loving, broad-minded people.” This is what most live-in partners try to suggest, most of the times. In my opinion, nothing can be further away from the truth. The truth is that marriage can be a truly fulfilling experience, when the spouses try to pitch in each others’ time and efforts at making their marriage ‘one for keeps’ and helping their relationship blossom and mature. 

                Now that even in the West, which vociferously espouses the ‘live-in’ culture, more and more couples are going in for marriages, it’s evident that in these uncertain socio-economic times, one wants to be at least certain about one thing; which is his/her partner in life. And what better way, than to tie the knot! Though marriage is a gamble, in the sense that one is never certain whether it would always work, the fun is in the going, the experience and the continuous endeavor to make it work.

               One could achieve freedom and space even in a marriage between two mature partners. Both must be sensitive to each others needs and aspirations. Once equilibrium is achieved, it has to be maintained. Trust and faith, combined with love helps to maintain this equilibrium. Marriage is a commitment to be faithful to each other in mind, body and spirit. To share each others’ joys and sorrows; create a family bonded by love. 

               Besides, the children of legally married partners don’t face any problems in getting admissions into schools, or any ragging by peers when they grow-up, unlike children of live-in parents who are often subjected to mental torture by insensitive people who brand them as ‘illegitimate’, for no fault of theirs! 

               Living-in partners often adopt a ‘no-strings’ attached policy, where each is free to do his own thing. They believe that marriage doesn’t offer freedom, personal space. They believe that they’ll be relieved from the spouses’ nagging, suspicion and bullying. They walk out on each other for flimsy reasons without second thoughts. 

               Often, living-in turns out to be just marriage, without legal sanction, as the woman ends up doing all the chores for her partner who often takes her for granted; and has a great time outside the house with other females, due to his carefree attitude. 

               The partners in the live-in relationship are often insecure, as they feel that their relationship is not permanent and often wonder whether they would have been better off had they married! Many live-in couples end up marrying when the lady partner conceives; just so that the child may get a legitimate father’s name. These couples just don’t have the guts to proclaim to the world, that they are the parents, who never married! 

                In short, the social sanction accorded to marriage and the security which it provides, makes it still relevant in the current times. It’s an institution which has withstood the test of many centuries; and will definitely last till eternity. 


 The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.  

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