Multitasking and driving on Indian roads.

Disclaimer: Read this article only if you have a sense of humor. Only a handful of each ‘species’ of drivers has been examined, hence no offence is meant to anyone in particular. Driving is not a pleasure in India. Everyone knows why. But who cares! Remember the oft-quoted proverb? “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Once you’ve made up your mind to enjoy your ride/drive, there can be no stopping you. We can vouch for that! Take a look around and see how people enjoy every minute of their drive, hurtling down the narrow by-lanes or zipping down the expressways. There are some truck-drivers, honking at everyone and anyone, to get their ‘birth-rightful’ passage of way, glaring at over-takers, swaying to decibel-defying folk-music beats or other lewd ‘item number’ tunes, playing on their music systems, leering at every skirt passing by, or swearing at ‘slow’ drivers in colorful language. Then there are some car drivers, who’ll try to receive or make a call on their cell-phones, access the internet or SMS on them, while dexterously maneuvering their vehicle across crowded thoroughfares; munching apples as they’ve skipped that all-important breakfast for that all-important business meeting, lady drivers drying that last-minute coat of nail-polish (where’s the time to do so at home, you see!). Did I mention the conscientious car-driver who opened his lap-top and got busy at a traffic signal when it turned red? Yes, time is money and if this was not time-management, what else could be! Next on the list are some two-wheeler riders, who can feel the air in their hair. With the adrenaline, sufficiently pumping in the veins of these speed freaks, no one or nothing (read obstacles) is daunting enough for these go-getters. ‘Speed kills’ reads the signboard flashing by, but these people have just sped past. The signboard is just a blur! ‘Speed thrills’ is their motto. An off-shoot of this breed are some stunt-bikers who consider themselves as the reincarnations of the super-heroes—Superman, Spiderman and Batman, all rolled into one gravity-defying, pulsating entity, who gives a damn about his precious life, and that of others! Who else can stand, sleep, eat, drink and perform acrobatics on that lowly two-wheeler, except them! Unfortunately for them, the circuses won’t have them, preferring the furred and feathered ones to these ‘monkeys’! If the superstars in movies are not scared of performing dare-devil stunts, why should we be left behind? wonder the stunt-bikers. The insurance companies are obviously not amused! They classify them in a separate category as ‘Extra-risk’ (Read avoidable risk) and charge a hefty surcharge on their premiums. Well, everything comes at a premium. Why worry? Then there are those who catch up on the previous day's news on the newspaper, TV or radio, while driving. One must keep pace with all developments in the local, national and global scenario; as well as get to work on time! On a journey from Mumbai to Pune by bus, I witnessed the bus driver and an off-duty driver of that bus, enjoying a lively conversation, while the driver drove furiously in the gathering dusk and later darkness, as night fell; keeping us passengers on tenterhooks about the fate of that bus due to his reckless speeding. In the meanwhile, he remembered his folks at home and called them on his mobile. After lots of laughing and talking, he again turned his attention to his buddy and was soon lost in deep discussion, on assorted subjects. We only hoped and prayed that he remembered where he was and what he was doing. But he was a great multi-tasker, speaking and driving at equally great speeds, while our hearts were in our mouths; as he swerved and dodged other vehicles with great dexterity. Some of the rickshaw- wallahs (rickshaw drivers) are a breed apart. Savvy and swift, they corner all the prime spaces in the traffic jam, jabber with each other when they pass by, do their own shopping while ferrying passengers; “Just a minute saab (Sir)”. And no one dares complain, if the fares are slightly higher, as ‘waiting charges’ have been charged to you. The talkative ones among them have an opinion on everything under the sun! They even expect you to give your reactions (not opinions!) on the spot. Spitting is a fine art, perfected by most of them. Not a drop on their vehicles, but a shower on the other unsuspecting ones. Last, but certainly not the least, some of the cyclists don’t wish to be ever left behind. They are forever racing along with the other vehicles on the streets. They gesture to their friends, ride without holding the bars, talk to their pillion riders and are generally foot loose and fancy free. Trrng, trrng, they go. Signals be damned and the traffic police be frowned upon. They have no rules and no scruples. They can hit and run at will, for they have no number plates, but do have a license (invisible) to kill! Several years ago, my mother was walking when she was knocked down by one such maniac who didn’t bother to tend to her afterwards. Fortunately, she only suffered some bruises and a swollen ring finger with a ring that refused to come off. If only we could’ve caught hold of that brat…… ************************************************************************************** The copyright of this article is with Mrs.Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.