A young girl lies on a sterile hospital bed, with bandages all over her body. Only two slits reveal her eyes filled with anguish and rage. She has been victimized by a spurned suitor, who wouldn’t take “No” for an answer and vented his ire at her rejection; by throwing acid on her. He is of the opinion that if she can’t be his, she cannot belong to anyone else, so he has disfigured her for life. A cowardly and dastardly act, but then strange are the ways of the broken heart!
His actions are also misguided as true love goes much beyond the obvious, physical self and is more a union of the minds and souls. He may have scarred her physical beauty, but she can still win over another guy through her intelligence and talent. His impulsive action also demonstrates the fact that he never loved her in the first place! He was only attracted by her physical beauty.
A true lover will never dream of harming the object of his affection in any way and will even sacrifice his love willingly, if she doesn’t show any interest in him. Thus unrequited love, a one-sided infatuation may have serious consequences for the couple, if the spurned person is unable to handle rejection properly. The girl will be harmed and incapacitated for life and he will spend his life behind bars. What a sheer, avoidable waste of two promising young lives!
Another area where people are often rejected is in an interview for a job. Please don’t blame the interviewing panel or interviewer for your inability to appropriately answer their questions or accuse them of bias. This will only prove that you are unprofessional. Accept the simple and obvious fact that you weren’t adequately prepared for that interview.
You must take it in your stride and strive to straighten out your imperfections and brush up your knowledge in that particular area of expertise, for which you were being interviewed. You could join a professional course that will help you in personality-development and business communication. You could even converse later with the winning candidate about how he tackled his interview and emerged with flying colors. If you are brave enough, you may contact the interviewers later and find out about the areas where you were lacking during the interview so that the next time around, you are better equipped to avoid making similar mistakes.
I know a lady who was a Higher Division Clerk in a reputed Public Sector enterprise. She went for an interview to get promoted to the Officer’s rank, but couldn’t answer fundamental questions about her own job profile and about the department in which she had been working for more than two decades. When she couldn’t clear the interview, she was overheard telling her colleagues that the promotions always went to the ones who buttered up the top brass in the organization! She conveniently refrained from telling them about her ignorance.
Thus look inwards and analyze what went wrong and be honest about it, otherwise you will always be stuck in that same rut of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. Misplaced self-righteousness doesn’t get one anywhere but the bin!
Then there are others who keep repeating the same blunders ad nauseum and keep lamenting about their fate. They are short-sighted and lazy. They don’t want to take corrective action and blame everyone and everything for their own inefficiency and inability to learn from their mistakes. It is often said that one may make mistakes only if one makes new mistakes every time and doesn’t repeat the earlier ones!
A very cruel and subtle form of rejection is when a suitor comes to “see” the girl for considering a marriage proposal, in India and rejects her after a prolonged session of interviewing her and her family members and partaking of delicious sweets and savories, painstakingly prepared for that occasion! Why not be prepared for what you really want to ‘see’ in a girl, namely her qualifications and interests and only zero in on an appropriate match, so that this irritating tradition at least bears fruit! I am sure that the young girls will agree with me that their suitors must come armed with a positive attitude, etiquette and charm.
Often, the suitor doesn’t respond at all and the girl’s family has to constantly pursue him or his family for an answer. Well, he should at least have the courtesy to say a polite “No” and explain why he and his family have considered rejecting that girl for marriage.
A girl, who was rejected by a succession of suitors as she wasn’t very good-looking, committed suicide. She had been made to feel ashamed for no fault of hers! God has given everyone good and bad qualities. Hence we must accept our lot and be satisfied. Just because someone has rejected us doesn’t mean the end of the world. Why should the girls suffer from an inferiority complex and take this extreme step?
Here are some practical solutions to overcome dejection after rejection:
Accept the inevitable and move on in life. Other promising opportunities will soon come your way.
Life is too short for regrets. So live it up and put your unpleasant past behind. One song’s pleasing lyrics come to my mind here. “Where’s the time to hate, when there is so little time to love!”
Be cheerful and confident. Just because someone has rejected you doesn’t mean that you are not worthy, it could mean that that person is unworthy of your sincere affection. Pay heed to the wise owl’s saying, “If you truly love someone, set that person free. If that person returns to you, he/she is yours forever and if he/she doesn’t he/she was never yours!”
Make new friends and involve yourself in the pursuit of new hobbies and interests.
Learn from your mistakes and try to rectify them.
It's very important that you don't stop venturing into new areas of activity due to the fear of rejection. You'll never achieve anything if you are so scared to hear a "No" or "Sorry". Respect other people's opinions and views and march on!
Overcome your fears and phobias through counseling and being with optimistic and confident individuals. Their sheen will surely rub on you and make you a better and adjusted person, ready to take on the world with a genuine smile!
***********************************************************************************
The copyright of this article is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan
Dear friends, You may share your experience with me. Were you ever hurt due to rejection and how did you cope with it? Let me know! I am sure that all of us can learn some invaluable lessons from your experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment